I was under the impression Nature and I had an understanding. I would recycle and do other things to reduce my carbon footprint and in return, Nature would leave me alone to view it quietly from inside, or on the beach. Nature is not holding up its end of the bargain.
- The boyfriend saved a baby lizard from the ravenous cats.
- I made the boyfriend save a baby dragonfly that was in the house instead of killing it.
- At Big Brown, where I work at night loading packages into an igloo-like pod that will later be moved onto an airplane for transport, that container was filled with crickets. People ship those. And I keep forgetting to google to see what animal one feeds them to. One of my co-workers suggested fish, which I’m pretty sure is ridiculous. Lizards?
- While loading said cricket container, I was hassled by wasps. I really hate wasps. In fact, I dislike most flying insects as they are rather unpredictable and can end up in your hair. Strike 2 is those that sting or bite. Bees get a reprieve because they do useful things, like pollenate and make honey. Wasps and hornets, eff you. I will Raid you till the cows come home. Anyway, we discovered that the reason for wasp hassling was that there were 2 GIANT MFing NESTS above my head. Gah.
- At home doing work on the computer, picked up my phone off the desk to discover there were ants on it. Looked at desk to discover there were ants ALL OVER IT. When it rains a lot here, sugar ants find some place of entry and come inside my house. They have hit both upstairs bathrooms and the pantry downstairs but why they were all over my desk is a mystery to me. Ant bait. Sorry.
- After discovering the ant colony, I looked down next to my desk to discover a pincher bug.
- Silverfish in my bathroom. Those things are DISGUSTING. Sprayed it with hairspray, assumed that sufficed, turned around to see that it was gone. Fast forward to yesterday, when I pulled my clothes out of the hamper only to have what I think was the same silverfish squiggle out of the dirty clothes over my foot. BARF BARF BARF.
- Then there have been the not-annoying-but-amusing nature incidents, like the random turtle the other week and yesterday I saw a squirrel run by with most of a donut in its month. We have CRAZY squirrels.
Yes, I am vegan, and yes, I am all for animal rights, but I reserve MY right to my personal, nature-free space. LET ME BE!