Category: #notkitty

Nature is all up in my bidness.

I was under the impression Nature and I had an understanding. I would recycle and do other things to reduce my carbon footprint and in return, Nature would leave me alone to view it quietly from inside, or on the beach. Nature is not holding up its end of the bargain.

Examples:

  • The boyfriend saved a baby lizard from the ravenous cats.
  • I made the boyfriend save a baby dragonfly that was in the house instead of killing it.
  • At Big Brown, where I work at night loading packages into an igloo-like pod that will later be moved onto an airplane for transport, that container was filled with crickets. People ship those. And I keep forgetting to google to see what animal one feeds them to. One of my co-workers suggested fish, which I’m pretty sure is ridiculous. Lizards?

    I don’t mind crickets, really, but I didn’t want to be jumped on and I didn’t really want to kill them by loading boxes on them. They didn’t understand the concept of escaping.

  • While loading said cricket container, I was hassled by wasps. I really hate wasps. In fact, I dislike most flying insects as they are rather unpredictable and can end up in your hair. Strike 2 is those that sting or bite. Bees get a reprieve because they do useful things, like pollenate and make honey. Wasps and hornets, eff you. I will Raid you till the cows come home. Anyway, we discovered that the reason for wasp hassling was that there were 2 GIANT MFing NESTS above my head. Gah.
  • At home doing work on the computer, picked up my phone off the desk to discover there were ants on it. Looked at desk to discover there were ants ALL OVER IT. When it rains a lot here, sugar ants find some place of entry and come inside my house. They have hit both upstairs bathrooms and the pantry downstairs but why they were all over my desk is a mystery to me. Ant bait. Sorry.
  • After discovering the ant colony, I looked down next to my desk to discover a pincher bug.
  • Silverfish in my bathroom. Those things are DISGUSTING. Sprayed it with hairspray, assumed that sufficed, turned around to see that it was gone. Fast forward to yesterday, when I pulled my clothes out of the hamper only to have what I think was the same silverfish squiggle out of the dirty clothes over my foot. BARF BARF BARF.
  • Then there have been the not-annoying-but-amusing nature incidents, like the random turtle the other week and yesterday I saw a squirrel run by with most of a donut in its month. We have CRAZY squirrels.

Yes, I am vegan, and yes, I am all for animal rights, but I reserve MY right to my personal, nature-free space. LET ME BE!

I really should just start hiding like Moosh Moosh. But there would probably be a silverfish in there.

Off the kitty topic today. Football and vegans.

Taking a break from obsessing about cats for a post. So I’ll talk about my other, more seasonal obsession. Football. I love football almost as much as I love cats. My Sundays are empty without it. I crave it. Don’t even get me started on my fantasy football, I tinker with my lineup all week and check the scores every five minutes. I yell at my TV. I yell at my phone when my fantasy app crashes. I yell every time another football player gets arrested (way to go, Eric Wright, how the eff did you get a FELONY DUI? Couldn’t just get a misdemenor like everyone else?).

And today, I am annoyed with the Arian Foster story. In case you don’t know, Arian Foster is one of the top running backs in the league. He doesn’t play for the Bucs, though, so the only way this story affects me personally is if I draft him in fantasy football, which there is only a slight chance of since there are 11 other people that will be vying for him as well.

So the story is that he went vegan. And it’s caused an uproar. In response to this uproar, I believe Mr. Foster said it best: “People feel so strong about meat and milk. I wish they felt this strong about peace.”

Like, really. I highly doubt that a guy who makes as much money as he does by RELYING on his body to work the way it does is taking this decision lightly. I remember when I was 15 and went vegetarian and all I ate was chips and french fries…yeah, that didn’t work out so well…but I know a lot more now and even if he doesn’t, he has the money to pay people who do. I can make all the arguments in the world about how humans aren’t really meant to consume meat and dairy…but I won’t. I can only speak from experience in saying that it is easier for me to lose weight, I have more energy, and I feel better since I gave up all that crap. And granted, I’m not working out 8 hours a day or whatever but I AM in the gym 5 times a week for mostly lifting because I hate cardio, and there has been no difference in how I build muscle.

Come at me, bro.

Yes, people, there ARE other sources of protein. I know this is like saying the world is coming to an end, but please try to understand. While we’re at it, can you also stop acting so offended that I have personally chosen the path of no animal products? Are you afraid I’m going to take YOURS away? I’m not. I don’t care what you do. Really, I don’t.

I might not draft Arian Foster this year, but that’s only because running backs are on the decline and I’d rather get a solid tight end in the first round. Maybe like Tony Gonzalez. Also one of the best at his position. Also vegan.