Kitty mommy blues. Thanks for listening.
Taco peed on the other couch. The one that he hadn’t peed on yet.
This is ultimately frustrating. I consider myself a loving, caring, well-informed kitty mommy that tries really hard to give her boys the best life possible. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, but it’s a slap in the face.
I’m sure you’re all getting sick of me bitching about this. I’M getting sick of bitching about this. And I’m gonna be honest, I’m sick of hearing the boyfriend bitch about it. This isn’t to say that he’s wrong for being upset. But here’s what happens…he gets pissed about it. I’m pissed on a different level, like a “this is what mommies have to endure but sweet jesus stop” level. And sometimes I feel like he’s pissed on a “let’s get rid of the cat” level. This has not been expressly said. So then I am dealing with my own frustration, his higher level of frustration, AND trapped between that and defensiveness for my baby.
From a logic point of view, I see why this combo causes a higher level of upset for me. I understand (for the most part) why cats do what they do. The fact that I can’t figure out how to make Taco stop peeing on the couch is a frustrating conundrum but out of all the things I DO understand about cats, this one thing is a fraction. The boyfriend loves them. But he is not a crazy cat lady. He didn’t decide that he liked cats more than humans. He just decided he liked me enough to put up with a crazy cat lady for what is going on 10 years. He doesn’t GET them. What bothers me most is that he should know how upsetting it is to me just merely not reinforcing strongly that he would never ask that we re-home Taco. Just because he hasn’t said the words indicating that he wants to doesn’t mean I’m not afraid that he’s going to ask that. My boys are non-negotiable. But so is my relationship. So it hurts that he doesn’t understand this very big part of my life, the crazy cat ladiness. Or at least give in to understanding that he can’t understand and be on my side. And be upset WITH me…not because our cat peed on our couch, but because I can’t fix Taco no matter how hard I try. I don’t even know if this makes sense reading it. And he will probably be upset with me for being so brutally honest here, but frankly, I had to get it out.
Taco is my baby. He might be a lemon, but he’s my lemon. He’s at least in a home where he will not be abused for peeing on a couch. He gets the best I can give him. I can’t save them all, but I can at least give one a little bit of leeway for being an animal. I just really really really really wish I could stop it. Boyfriend, I would. I even spent my lunch hour trying to figure out how to become a cat behaviorist (I haven’t really figured that out yet, but usually if I can’t afford something I try to do it myself. This is proving difficult in cat whispering Taco).
And despite all this, I successfully completed week 2 of smoke-free weekdays. I wanted to smoke this morning when the boyfriend told me about the loveseat desecrating, but I made my boss talk me out of it. Knee jerk reaction when I get bad news. So I have that to be positive about! At least I have control over something…
Maybe you should have a frank discussion with Mr. Boyfriend. Maybe he loves Taco almost as much as you not to consider rehoming Taco.
Lots of purrs
He quietly reads my blog, so I know he knows now. Purrs to you too!
SO sorry. There has to be an answer. But thank goodness Taco has you and will never have to be afraid or alone again.
Thanks for the kind words! Too bad he’s afraid of EVERYTHING.
That’s rough man. Congrats on the smokeless weekdays, that’s huge. I spotted this item at my vets not to long ago. It’s a motion detector with a spray. It has a 1 meter radius, to deter a pet away from an area. We considered it when our cat did damage to our stair railing. I never did buy it. We had our railings refinished ($$$$) and put ”softpaws” on for 6 months, no more scratching. You could talk to your vet about it. It’s cheaper on Amazon, good luck
You will not believe this, but we bought one of these. Months ago. Have I used it? No. I can’t figure out the logistics. I think I need like, 4 more of them to work. Awesome on the softpaws! I love those things. Moosh will rip them off as soon as I put them on, but he doesn’t claw anything. Taco is surprisingly tolerant of them.
I’m guessing that Taco has not been neutered. If that’s the case, neutering will solve the problem about 99% of the time. Male cats have only one purpose in the world, and that’s to mark their territory for all the beautiful felines that happen by. If Taco has been neutered, then it could be a mental problem, but they have inexpensive medications for cats with mental problems.
Another possibility is that Taco has had his claws removed. Such a procedure makes their paws extraordinarily sensitive so that they will avoid the litter box as much as possible because the litter hurts their little paws.
Those would both be incredibly irresponsible reasons on my part. And either would make me wholly unqualified to write a blog about cats.
And no, there is no medication for his “mental” condition…Feline Idiopathic Cystitis is manageable through diet and supplements. Occasional flareups are unavoidable, and I wouldn’t drug my cat anyway.
I don’t know that either would make you a bad cat owner and wholly unqualified. There simply are people who don’t understand the consequences of them.
Sounds like you took offense at my trying to help with things I knew about. Sorry about that.
Being an ignorant cat owner, in my eyes, would make one a bad cat owner. That may sound very judgmental of me but I wouldn’t have a child without first having some idea of how to raise one.
My offense, perhaps in part, comes from my writing not actually being read.
Not sure exactly what your last paragraph means, but as to your first paragraph, there are seven billion people in the world. You and I seem to be a little different in that we are intelligent cat owners. That doesn’t mean that learning about cats is a high priority for the other million cat owners, and I don’t think it’s necessarily right that one considers an ignorant cat owner to be a bad cat owner. That would summarily dismiss almost all first-time cat owners everywhere, of which I was one just five years ago.
Let me know if you wish me to quit following you since you seem to be so offended, even after my apology.