Because I am already an anxious person. I feel this overwhelming pressure to find the perfect gifts for people. I’m not satisfied with tossing out giftcards like halloween candy. Yeah, it’s easy. And I’m not saying I don’t LIKE getting gift cards. I just feel like I cheated if I give one.

But finding the perfect present is incredibly difficult. I’m not even going to get into how hard it is to shop for the boyfriend. He never wants ANYTHING. This is impossible for me to understand, as a person who wants EVERYTHING. To be perfectly honest, I feel like the day I stop wanting things is the day life is no longer worth living. As much as I dream of winning the lotto one day (although one would have to actually PLAY the lotto to win…oops), I think I would be pretty bored and purposefulless if I didn’t have anything to work for. I’m sure that’s why a lot of rich people get so involved in charities, but there are also a lot of bored rich people on reality shows that seem to have nothing to live for except looking younger and subsequently looking like crazy clay-faced people. I think I’m more of a Warren Buffett. You know he still drives the same car he’s been driving since the 80’s? I think. I know a little about a lot, but details tend to fall out. But see, he’s rich as hell and he just keeps working. Money is the byproduct of success. He keeps working to be more and more successful. And he gave his kids trusts and told them “Make this money work, you’re not getting any more from me.” Now that’s the way to do it. I just read (skimmed) an article about his son, who is a farmer of some sort who has some sort of program for farmers to feed the hungry. That’s refreshing.

Back to presents. I always start out with the best intentions, to start shopping in like, July. Yeah. Then all of a sudden it’s Thanksgiving and I’m all “Holy shit, I only have 4 weeks” – and I only have the weekends because my hours at Big Brown get longer and longer as the weeks go on, not that I have time to do a whole lot between jobs anyway.

So then I start surfing the net, frantically trying to find things that match the personalities of the people I’m shopping for. Then I find myself stuff. Then I find stuff I THINK is perfect for certain people, but then I overthink and wonder if this gift is really just something *I* would like, and in my mind I’m making up reasons that this gift is perfect for them. Or I find awesome presents for the pets of the people on my list, but realize that’s not really a present for that person. Then I slam my laptop shut and decide that screw it, gift cards for all. At least until enough time has passed that I feel optimistic about my chances again, then this whole process starts all over.

I would love to make presents for everyone. I did that one year, and it worked great. Except I’ve had this creative block for like, a year. It’s pretty depressing. I mean, I have a CRAFT ROOM. I have so many supplies and nary a spark. I miss my crafting.

So I have one present bought so far, one craft present started (but only started, because it’s going to take some actual muscle and with the gimpy wrist, it’s not going so well. Going to bribe the boyfriend into helping.) and that’s it. And I just got done perusing things online and getting annoying.

If anyone happens to know what any of the people on my list this year REALLY REALLY want, I will give you a hug. Who knows, maybe I have some psychic readers?

PS. The cats’ presents are covered. They’re so easy to buy for.