Tagged: vacation

I don’t miss my cats.

Does that make me a bad person?

The boyfriend and I are on a mini-vacay/10th anniversary celebration (it really bothers me that 10 years of monogamy would be thrown out if we got married. I find that concept so unfair). We’re in the Keys. The Florida Keys. Are there any other Keys? I’m so snobbish about my Floridian-ness.

I hate most of my body, but my arms never fail me in the skinny realm.

I hate most of my body, but my arms never fail me in the skinny realm.

Anyway, it’s just 2 nights, and a lot of driving, but it IS beautiful down here, and although the room is small, it’s lovely and the bed is as comfy as our own ridiculously priced iComfort. Strangely, even though we own a king (specifically because I am NOT a sound sleeper and we’re definitely not cuddlers), this bed seems bigger.

Maybe it’s because it’s not ours, maybe it’s because (disturbingly) we don’t have our body pillows to throw our legs over, but I think it’s because there’s no cats. NO CATS.

I woke up at nine. NINE! Actually, I woke up initially at 7:43 but I was able to go back to sleep, and it was glorious. Why? NO CATS.

God, I love my little fluffballs, and granted, I SHOULD have been able to sleep in since we woke up at 4am to drive down here (technically we woke up at 4:40, this is because I set my alarm to 4pm by accident), but it was so nice to DECIDE when I wanted to wake up. This is seriously a luxury for me because I was the kid at slumber parties that woke up hours before everyone else and laid there wishing I could go back to sleep. I’m not a good sleeper.

This is not to say I don’t TOTALLY miss my kitties. We stopped by a famous marina (Bud N Mary’s, if you ever end up in Islamorada) to see the tarpon. These giant fish swarm the dock, it’s really quite amazing.



I’m sure you can guess that as a vegan, I’m not much of a fisherman, but I do enjoy the accoutrements that go along with fishing, like boats and open water. Anyway, we watched the fish for a bit and then… there was a kitten. It was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. So tiny. Lives at the marina, apparently. Has a collar and everything. To my dismay, lil kitten wanted nothing to do with me, and walked over to Momma, who was so passed out she wouldn’t even move. I don’t blame her. It’s hot as hell here in a tiny bathing suit, let alone a fur coat. Then…one of the employees came out to feed the baby. WITH THE FOOD FROM THE DOLLAR STORE THAT I MADE FUN OF A FEW POSTS AGO.

This is just weird. It looks like the cat is trying to escape the bag.

This is just weird. It looks like the cat is trying to escape the bag.

I almost vomited. I mean, dollar store food is, I’m sure, better than nothing, but really? UGH. Poor kitten. I wanted to steal him. Just can’t get away from my cat love, I ‘spose.

Who wants to sleep in on vacation, anyway?

It’s day 1 of our mini vacay. I couldn’t REALLY sleep in because I had an eye appointment early-ish anyway, but Taco wasn’t having any of that. SIX THIRTY. A-hole.

This is Taco last night. He’s practically dead. Why can’t he be like this early in the morning?



Now the boyfriend and I are too lazy to go to the beach. Rather, I had everything kinda ready and the boyfriend said “Why don’t we be lazy today and go tomorrow.” I was TRYING to be un-lazy. It didn’t take much to twist my arm. I’m pining for the great weather I see outside, but…I have 4 more days, right? Why is it so much harder to force yourself to do things the older you get? I’m tempted to buy a kiddie pool so I can lay out back and dip my feet in. That’s pretty much the ultimate in laziness.

We did, at least, go to a beach bar yesterday. That’s something.

View from the Sloppy Pelican

View from the Sloppy Pelican

Can't hate on this.

Can’t hate on this.

Vacation hi-jinx.

Despite the fact that I’m only on half vacation until 3pm tomorrow, I’m trying to make the most of my off time. So far, I’ve accomplished very little, except that I’ve actually been to the gym EVERY DAY this week! So what if it’s only Tuesday? This is still something to give accolades for. Yay me.

I also spent some quality time with my mom and my other cats today. By this I mean one allowed me to maneuver under a chair to pet him and the other demanded attention to his fat belly.

The fat powers the lasers.

The fat powers the lasers.

The mother is not used to having my undivided attention, so as usual, she forgot everything she was saving up to talk to me about. But we had a lovely time anyway, going through books and old photos. And I did all her “tech” stuff. You can lead a horse to an iPhone, but you can’t make em update it. mom love

Then I came home. To a Taco that seems to be extra loud. He’s been meowing up a storm lately. I am ready to punch him. I won’t, of course, but I threaten him anyway. He meows in response. I’m considering not coming home at all tomorrow.

I plan to spend the rest of the time off with the boyfriend. Hopefully on the beach. I stockpiled a crapload of books (it pays to have a mommy with a bookstore when you’re a bookworm) and I even bought a fancy new towel that slides right on to your beach chair. Please hold out, weather!


I have accomplished a major goal today, on my 3rd day of vacation, and it’s only 8:30am (I’m a morning person, what can I say? I can’t sleep in). This means that I can officially spend the day lounging around reading if I so desire, and ignore the to-do list I already made. I just started a good one. I laughed about the writer’s name but it turns out she’s rather good. Joanna Trollope. I think I enjoy British writers more than American. Something about their cadence, I suppose. I will, however, read anything and everything, so long as something hooks me enough to find out what happens.

This goal goes back to the cat tree. I’m sure you’re all quite sick of hearing about the damn cat tree, and unless something incredibly fascinating happens with it someday, this will be the last I directly reference it. My dreams of the cat tree were mostly for Moosh, as he is a “tree dweller” sort of cat. I base this diagnosis on more than a few facts: he perches on my shoulders, he’s been found on more than a few occasions on top of the cupboards (once IN the cupboards), and he sits on top of the office bookcase. Taco just likes to go wherever, being UP on things isn’t that exciting to him. He just wants to be where the action is. I thought he’d enjoy the scratching stuff, though.

But guess who’s been using the cat tree more? Taco.

I don't know what he's looking at. Maybe the stickers numbering the pieces that REFUSE to come off. Ugh.

I don’t know what he’s looking at. Maybe the stickers numbering the pieces that REFUSE to come off. Ugh.

At first, I thought it was just him being a brat, taking over whatever space Moosh would want, but I tried putting Moosh on the highest part of the tree and he would either just jump down or step onto my shoulders and jump to the ground from there. Moosh HAS enjoyed the angled edges of the tree on various other levels, as he likes to smush his face against them. It looks very painful to me but it seems to be enjoyable for him. Whatever.

Turns out he just needed to do this on his own terms. Today, he got on the 2nd highest level. I managed to coerce him up to the next with promises of face smushes. And he stayed! I even walked away and he stayed. And realized that he had a pretty freakin’ good view.

King's view.

King’s view.



Update: For no apparent reason today, I caught Moosh on top of the fridge today, where he hasn’t been seen in months, who then, upon being spotted, made a run across the cupboards, then back again to the fridge and then down the minute I sat up to attempt a picture. This is what the cat tree was supposed to solve. Sigh.

Using my death bed productively.

Taco doesn't care about my plight. One day of kitty snuggles with ol' Sicko was enough for him. He's busy with his new CAT TREE friend. Hmph.

Taco doesn’t care about my plight. One day of kitty snuggles with ol’ Sicko was enough for him. He’s busy with his new CAT TREE friend. Hmph.

I’m still sick. I love how optimistic I always am at the beginning of getting sick, as though THIS TIME is gonna be the time that I’m gonna whoop this sucker and get it out of my system in 24 hours. What, yours hung on and became pneumonia? Not gonna be a problem for me, because I’M KICKIN’ SICK’S ASS RIGHT NOW! And then the next day you wake up, test things out, snot starts flowing again, and you lose a little more hope. Usually I only feel like total crap for 2 days on a cold and then the rest is just getting out mucus in various ways, a la coughing fits, neti potting and nose blowing. I’m on day 4 and am now just beginning to feel like I’m in control of my brain again. Does your brain shut your brain down to conserve energy to fight germs? Seems efficient. Although not helpful at work.

To make matters better, this was also the week that I picked as my first vacation of the year at Big Brown, and decided to take a few days off the real job as well. Because…IT’S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK! I know that some people don’t think birthdays are all that important or exciting but I grew up as an only child so my understanding of it is that it is MY DAY so everyone in the land should celebrate ME! I may be turning 31, but in my head, I’m still a bratty child. I wish my newly beginning wrinkles thought that. So today was my Friday, which I can’t really enjoy because drinking a) dehydrates, and I need to keep my mucus watery and b) isn’t all that good for your immune system. I’d rather get over this crap now than prolong it because I have some half-assed desire to celebrate a fake Friday.

To further destroy my ego, the weather, which has been borderline hot, is about to swiftly swoop to much lower lows (and lower highs) than I care for. And that, of course, ruins any silly dream I may have had of birthday beach days. This is why I could never have pool parties when I was a kid. My birthday weather was always “too unpredictable.” Bah to that. Anyway, that will activate my allergies, and in turn make the snot flow even more (if that’s humanly possible).

Since I’m not doing anything fun, I decided to read. Yesterday I really needed light reading, so I read some chick lit, which turned out to be teen books, but I enjoyed anyway. Today, since my brain is a little less foggy, I’m turning to non-fiction. I decided to finally read ALL the books in my house that are about cats that I’ve been meaning to read.

I think I already know the answer to the genius one...

I think I already know the answer to the genius one…

Turns out I have only 3. I really thought I had more than that. So imma get down to business. Perhaps I’ll let you in on my knowledge tomorrow, since I am free from working duties for the next 5 days, albeit limited in the “fun activities” department. I have a to-do list, though…

The question of the day: Did the cats miss us?

Unequivocally, yes.

Too much, in fact. I was pleased to be greeted by both boys. I dropped the boyfriend off at a friend’s house (prior plans, but I just wanted to go home) so I am currently the only target of affection.


So much affection. Taco has followed me meowing for 3 fulls hours now. Everywhere I go, there he is. It’s ridiculous. I mean, I’m glad they weren’t mad at us for having left them for 3 days but I didn’t expect that Taco would be so concerned upon my return that I would leave again. Moosh has been lovey but modestly so, especially in comparison to Mr. Attached To Mommy’s Hip.

This was my greeting. Plenty of meowing as well.

I missed my babies too. My mom totally spoiled them. There’s so much food in their bowls they could eat for a week. This is why her cats are overweight. She’s always very concerned about kitties going hungry. She worries about this with humans, too, which is why she brings me vegan cake all the time, usually right when I have sworn to eat healthily (even though being vegan, my food intake is generally on the healthy side, except for my weakness for french fries).

But I do really appreciate her feeding them and checking on them each day. Who knows what kind of trouble they would have gotten into otherwise? My puke-soiled duvet cover is in the dryer as we speak, and if that’s the worst that happened, I’m vaguely ok with that.

We both work two jobs…you’d think they’d be more used to us NOT being home.

Beach view

Either way, I’m glad to be back, even though it feels like I never left. In case you’re wondering, Ft. Myers Beach is a very lovely destination. I don’t know what it’s like for spring break or during the summer but it was mostly older people and Germans. I don’t know why that area attracts a plethora of Germans, but MAN, is it ever full of them. I wish the weather had cooperated a bit more, but it was pretty and it’s always nice to get away with the boyfriend.

While the cat’s away…the…um…cats will play.

We’ve been gone one day. One.

That is exactly how long it took Taco to get to what I THOUGHT was an unreachable place (about head-high on a wire baker’s rack), grab a bag of treats (that I JUST bought yesterday), drag them upstairs ONTO our bed, shred the package, eat all the treats, and puke twice. On the bed.

Thank you to my mother for appreciating my worry that the cats would make trouble while we were gone and investigating even though there was no immediate sign of trouble. Mommy instinct is apparently live and well in our genes. And thank you for cleaning the puke off the comforter, even though I know you’re used to it with your own boys at home.

I mean, really? Taco, C’MON, MAN!


Lady, you ain’t leavin’.